See ya, PA

I was planning on writing an open breakup letter to the Pennsylvania portion of the AT, letting it know how I really felt about it. My overall experience on the trail in this state has been marked by rocks, blisters, excessive heat waves, more rocks, dried water sources, more rocks, and some of my lowest days on the trail so far. I cursed this state and it's trail on more than one occasion, vowing to never again return to the area where I can only imagine the battle between heaven and hell took place and a rocky wasteland was left in it's wake. I was going to passionately proclaim all of this, but that sort of negativity does no good.

Let's be honest. Pennsylvania has been the hardest state FOR ME so far. Terrain-wise, it is fairly flat. Because of this, I attempted to hike big miles (and I did - in a 24 hr period I covered 34 miles once) and that could have led to some of the pain I would feel. But the rocks. Oh the rocks. They were never-ending. There were large boulders. There were small boulders. There were large trail rocks. There were small jagged rocks. There were slippery rocks. There were rough, shoe chewing rocks. You get the picture. Lots of rocks. Every single day, all day, for over 200 miles.

About two days ago and after what seemed like the 100th rock I kicked while in stride, I felt defeated. I couldn't take it. My feet were horribly blistered for the first time on the trail and each step I took shot alternating numb and sharp pain through my body. I didn't want to go any further. I hated the trail, PA, rocks, the squirrels, trees, etc. I was not in a good place.

I wanted to complain and feel sorry for myself. Woe is me. This is too hard. Wah wah wah was all I was hearing and I was getting sick of it. This trail is hard for a reason. Less than 10% completion rate happens for a reason. "Only the strong survive." I came to the realization that there were two very simple choices ahead of me. Allow the trail to beat me or put your head down, walk, and beat the trail. I chose the latter.

I walked into Delaware Water Gap yesterday in the late afternoon, which is the border of PA and NJ. As a fitting send off, I slipped on a rock going downhill about a mile before town and fell on my back. But wouldn't ya know it, as I walked to the church hostel I was going to stay at, hungry, tired, and sore, I was informed of the Thursday night pot luck dinners at the church where hikers were encouraged to join. A pot luck dinner at the end of a really tough stretch seemed as good of a reward as any in my opinion. Perhaps it was coincidence or plain luck, but I think it was the PA trail cosmos giving me a symbolic pat on the back for not giving up.

I don't know if I will return to hike this portion of the trail again, but I will always remember what this trail has put me through and what I can do when faced with obstacles that seem too large to cross. See ya, PA. Onto New Jersey!

-mojo